Finding Your Tribe During Infertility

By Rebekah Rosler, LMSW

I think most of our lives we’re searching. Searching for the right partner. The right career. The right home. The right city. Though we might not be as focused on it, finding the right community is part of each of those life desires. 

When we’re in school we have our friends, sometimes by default, sometimes by design. Once we have a job it’s a similar scenario. Many of us fall into circles at certain times in our lives due to circumstance. All of our lives, we are looking for something to belong to, to connect with, to be a part of. 

For those of us who find ourselves on an (in)fertility journey, there are so many emotional and physical challenges that come with it. It can be scary, isolating, and confusing. Resources feel limited, questions seem overwhelming, but almost more importantly, we feel so alone.

Finding your community, your tribe, during infertility is a hugely important component of a holistic approach to taking care of yourself during this journey.

I think one of the hardest parts of fertility is the uncertainty. Though there are measures, steps, we can take - there is no absolute. I have met people who have changed their diet, lifestyle, self care, and have still suffered tremendous loss, while some have taken no action beyond fertility treatments and have been lucky enough to experience healthy pregnancies. As we feel powerless in the uncertainty, for some of us lucky ones we have at least found our tribe. 

In 2015 when I set out on my life changing fertility path I was unable to find support and community.  Though I - incredibly - found myself pregnant, I wanted to create a safe space for other women who were just starting out on their journey.  This group ended up become a true safe haven to so many. It remains a group made up of individuals who lift each other up, even in their own dark days. It’s a community of women who want to learn from each other, share in happy endings, and empathize through life’s challenges. The Warriors Tribe runs deep. We get together in person, and we have become real-life friends.

But for you, whether its Warriors, a support group at your fertility clinic, an Instagram community like The Fertility Tribe, or something else, finding your tribe is such an instrumental part of this experience. No one is going to pretend it will be an easy road ahead, but the path is much more manageable when you have fellow tribe members, locked in arms, marching with you every step of the way.

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Rebekah Rosler, LMSW is a wife & mom to a three-year-old and a set of almost two-year-old twins. She is also an (in)fertility warrior, community builder, supporter, friend, connector, counselor, advocate, doula, coach, and Licensed Master of Social Work based out of NYC. She recently launched a practice called It's Conceivable focused around supporting women on their journey to motherhood, offering one-on-one support in a virtual or in-person setting. She also manages over 20 Facebook groups focused around supporting women along their journey to motherhood. From Warriors to Donor Egg Warriors to Surrogacy Warriors, and more, click here for the full list and find the right group for your unique fertility journey. 

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