Surviving the Holidays with Infertility

By Kristyn Hodgdon, Founder, The Fertility Tribe

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I can’t help but feel extra grateful this Thanksgiving, because I know that I am one of the lucky ones. The holidays looked very different for me last year. I had just come off of several failed IUIs and was gearing up to start IVF. I thought I would have had a baby by last Christmas, so I wasn’t really feeling the holiday cheer.  

Surviving the holidays can be tough when you’re going through infertility. There are many reasons for this, the main one being the arbitrary deadlines we give ourselves when we are trying to get pregnant.

“I’ll be pregnant by….”

...my birthday.”

...Thanksgiving.”

...Christmas.”

Does this sound familiar to any of you? We are all guilty of it. For me it was every holiday, birthday, and special occasion last year, and it only led to disappointment every time one of those dates came and went.

I would tell you to stop giving yourself these arbitrary deadlines, but I’ve been there and I know it’s easier said than done. Whether it’s the holiday themed baby announcements on social media or your friends and family asking you when you’re going to have a baby, somehow around the holidays infertility just stings a little bit more than usual.

You find yourself picturing what future holidays will look like with children and for a moment you are filled with hope, but then reality sets in because part of you isn’t sure if it will ever happen. It is a terrible feeling, and one I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

So how do you survive the holidays with infertility? You just keep on moving, like you always do. You lean on the friends and family who know what you’re going through. You spend quality time with your partner. You delete social media. You do whatever you have to do to get through it with your sanity still intact.

Although I won’t tell you to stop saying, “I’ll be pregnant by…” (because let’s be real), this year my challenge to you is to be a tad more forgiving of yourself. Your life may not look exactly like you thought it would at this point in time, but there is still so much to be thankful for. And remember, a lot can happen in a year!

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